Make Your NVC Conversations Sound Truly Natural

Recently a client gave me quite a challenge. He wanted me to help him find the NVC way to express himself to a family member where there has been a thick wall of conflict and resentment for years. He insisted, however, that it must not sound at all like NVC-speak. In other words, none of that formal, stilted NVC form. None of what the conflicted family member recognized as educated psycho-babble. He wanted it to flow and sound natural. Otherwise he was concerned the family member would tune him out completely. That person had heard NVC over the years many times from him, but had not heard it as authentic and natural. Instead it had been heard as some technique coming out of a book to try to outwit him, to get him to behave a certain way that was expected or demanded of him.

So we began. Issue by issue, line by line. It was quite an endeavor, because it has become so easy over the years to speak in the formal NVC way. To translate judgments into observations, without using the 4-step process was quite an exercise. To transform jackal attitudes into a giraffe-like energy without talking about feelings and needs so openly, was tricky. But we did accomplish just that. It took over an hour, but we were both satisfied and confident that we’d found the magic between the lines of the powerful NVC teachings.

I can help you to achieve the same authentic level of expression, but in a completely natural-sounding way. It is perhaps even more effective than following the book 100% all the time. It puts people at ease, even if you’re addressing a challenging or tense situation.

About swpollack

I’m an independent mediator and collaborative communication coach who can help you to co-create greater ease, connection and mutual understanding in your personal and professional relationships. As a non-traditional specialist, my aim is to get concrete results for my clients in a fraction of the time usually required by traditional therapy and counseling. Please visit my business website: . The emotion-based coaching work I do is deeply therapeutic, yet I am neither a psychologist nor a psychotherapist. Instead I work with a holistic, empathic process called compassionate, nonviolent communication. I also facilitate ongoing support groups for people who want to learn this organic process of nonjudgmental communication to help build bridges of connection, harmony, collaboration and understanding. For more about my Build Compassionate Relationships meetup group, visit: . I’ve been offering these services to the public since 2000 in the greater Miami and Fort Lauderdale area, as well as by phone and through Skype conferencing. . Nonviolent Communication is a process developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. It’s based on a very pure, nonjudgmental language of feelings, needs and requests. I’ve found this to be a powerful tool in my mediation work which involves bringing two or more people together despite a painful history of conflict.
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